It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
