I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
