it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
