We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
