I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
