when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We need a shit load of segways right now
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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