i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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