I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
