Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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