I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
