Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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