either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
