hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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