I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
PANTIES FOUND
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
