My liver just broke up with me...
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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