If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
