Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
