Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
