literally had 100 drinks last night.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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