im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
