so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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