Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
