If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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