I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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