just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
