mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
