Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
