youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Michael Bay diarrhea
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
