i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
