I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
