doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
