the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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