The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
