my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
its liver damage thursday
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
