yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
