So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
