are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
