i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
