My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
