i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
