Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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