we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
