i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
