toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
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