YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
This is not my ceiling
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
