apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
