After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
