i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
