I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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