yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
