are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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