That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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