Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i think i have two assholes
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
