Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
