His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
